Hoffman 411: I Wouldn’t Have Transplanted Myself Anywhere Else

Being poked, prodded, pulled away from home and stuck in 10×10 rooms for most of the last 6 months has amplified Jacobs “excorist like” moodiness.

Now, Jacob has always been a “hot or cold child” but his ability to express himself and his moods has improved immensly.

When we were making our annual angel salt dough ornaments, I looked down at Jacob’s and commented on how beautiful his angel was. He looked up at me, a glow rose around his little face and he said, “Mommy, you’re the angel. You’re my beautiful angel.” I cried.

Sometime later, we were in the middle of a treatment when I swear little horns popped out of his forehead and fire began burning in his eyes. Next thing I know, he started growling at me and spewing insults, “Why did God make you my Mommy? I wish God gave me any other Mommy but you. You’re the worst Mommy in the world.” I calmly rubbed his head and agreed with him. I’ve learned arguing over this kind of stuff only makes things worse.

Our roommates at the time and soon to be very dear friends, Carl and Jen, ran to comfort me, “Oh my gosh, you poor thing,” etc. They tried to console me. I just laughed and said “that’s my Jacob.”

As the two week treatment came to an end our roomates began to read Jacob’s exorcist like behavior as well as I could. Jacob would roll over in bed and profess his love for me. Jen would sigh a big “ahhh,” and Carl would grin and say “Here it comes.”

Within 10 minutes, Jacob’s head would start spinning, his eyes would roll out of his head and through clenched teeth he would swear to never love me again. One time he even asked what God was thinking when he made me and mosquitoes.

Thankfully, I only take him seriously when he is calling me his angel…