Hoffman 411: New Year’s Resolutions

Any of you out there make any new year’s resolutions? Having made my fair share of resolutions in the past and failing to keep them, I’ve decided resolutions are a waste of time. Improving yourself, your life, your job or whatever is a year-long, life-long process.

But in the spirit of the new year, I resolve to…

…listen to more of Marcus’ questions.

As of now, I answer the first two questions whole-heartedly. As for the second two, I listen and nod or grunt “uh-huh.” Then the last two go in one ear and out the other and I mumble a “yes honey.” Mike often asks, “What did you say ‘yes’ too?” A shrug of my shoulders is always my reply to him. I figure one day Marcus is going to remind me that I said yes to a car, a motorcycle, a life-long allowance and who knows what else. Maybe I should be paying more attention to those last two questions. I must admit though that if I didn’t let the last two questions go in one ear and out the other, my head would pop. Knowing Marcus, mommy’s popping head would only lead to more questions. This is pretty much a lose-lose situation for me.

…lose 5 lbs.
Oh forget it! I won’t even bother with that one. I’ve finally come to realize that no matter what you weigh, you always feel like you could lose five more pounds.

… clean my house more often.

Scratch that one. With the three munchkins home all day, the house is straightened up once an hour on the hour. Any more of that and I’d begin to feel like Cinderella.

…have dinner on the table for Mike when he gets home from work with three quiet, clean children waiting by the door with his slippers, pipe and newspaper and me fully made-up and dressed in my finest clothes.

Ha! Ha! Maybe in his next life his parents will name him Ward, he’ll marry June, and she’ll give birth to Wally and the Beav. For now he’ll have to settle for making dinner after the kids go to bed or take-out, me in my grunchiest sweats and stained turtleneck and the boys in various states of undress yelling “Daddy’s home… GETTTTTTT HIM!”

See what I mean? New year’s resolutions are a waste.

Until next time,